In the heart of Madhesh, Nepal, 18 years old Roman, a youth and a bachelor student, has always felt different. She shares "My name is Roman. My citizenship identifies me as a man, but I feel I’m a woman, I don’t know where this feeling comes from. I love to dance, sing, and make TikTok. I aspire to do something that makes me a famous woman."Growing up, Roman faced relentless teasing and isolation from the community and in the school. "People tease me and they say I act like a girl. They don’t want to be with me or be my friend." From an early age, Roman found solace among women friends, their company and feeling a sense of belonging that was absent elsewhere. Growing up, Roman constantly battled to meet the social expectations and hear inner voice. Roman's journey of self-discovery was marked by nights of tears and a desperate quest for answers.
Roman shares confusion about the gender identity and sexual orientation intensified during the college period. “This period of confusion was very stressful for me, and it made me cry all night. I felt lonely. I didn’t know who I was. I went to the gym to look handsome man, and I used to be happy when anyone calls me you look handsome but the other time, I felt that wasn’t me in real. I made TikTok videos to see myself on videos and check who I am? Am I a man? Or something else? I laugh, pretend to be handsome and do everything to prove other people that I am a man in the videos, and I post on TikTok but later I cry because I don’t feel comfortable in proving myself which I am not."
Before being a part of the USAID Adolescent Reproductive Health (ARH) intervention, Roman's life was a tumultuous sea of non-conformity and questioning. However, the introduction of Social Analysis and Action (SAA) sessions marked a turning point. Through these sessions, Roman found other friends and collective support and courage to embrace the true identity as a transgender woman. Today, Roman is open about her identity with family and friends. She has found happiness with a supportive partner and a renewed sense of self-esteem; thanks to the collective support she received during the SAA sessions. "Her self-esteem revived because of the SAA sessions," Roman shares with a smile. She further added, “the sessions provided a safe space to explore and accept my identity, fostering a community where I felt understood and valued.” Despite the personal growth and happiness in her relationships, Roman faces ongoing challenges in her career. Her feminine expression has led to numerous rejections from potential employers. "I have gone through a lot of humiliation because of how I express myself. I was rejected recently in a job interview as salesperson; they believe I can upset the customers and bring jinx to the business." This rejection has sparked a deep fear in Roman, a fear that despite having a bachelor’s degree the only path left might be one she dreads-sex work. She harbors a deep connection with soil and agriculture and envisions a future where she can work in this field, contributing meaningfully to her community.
Roman's journey is a testament to the power of self-discovery, resilience, and the importance of creating safe spaces and supportive communities where everyone can pursue their dreams and live their truth. Her story serves as a beacon of hope and a call to action for inclusivity. To reach adolescents in their all diversity, USAID ARH works with community-based organizations like Sunaulo Bihani Samaj that is operated by and for the rights of LGBTQI+ community.